Courage.....

Today evening.....i joined my friends at the table for a snack....& right away saw her....
Have often seen her there, always near that table, her fave spot maybe.....have consciously avoided the table many a times, just to avoid her....

But now, here i am.....just about 3 feet away....staring....she also stared back.....
Finally managed to pull myself away & join the conversation with my friends, some stupid thing about how to say no to a marriage & blah blah.....my thoughts were all about her....

"what should i do?
should i tell these guys???
they must have seen her you dumbo, she is so close"

Food arrives......i steal a glance, her head is turned away...but i feel her eyes on me.....as if she is appraising me....maybe making up her mind...maybe if she should make a move.....i somehow eat the food....somehow.....difficult, given the train of thoughts.....

"if i do anything now, what will these guys say??
who cares, my life.
why you scared to make your move, she wont eat you....."

it takes an amazing self control to be sitting calmly, to seemingly be part of a conversation, when she is so close....almost touching distance.....

I raise my eyes......& meet hers....looking directly at me.....whats she thinking?? has she moved closer or am i imagining it??

"Shit......
Ok, calm, nothings gonna happen, it never does......she will go away.....like all the others who did... how long will this go on, you need to do something......."

Tea arrives.....she has actually moved closer........

"Be strong, look at her, go ahead & do it......it will be hardly anything.....you have seen so many people doing the same thing......
look at her!!!! cannot muster the courage to glance in her direction...!!!"

Tea is gulped down. Hot. I must have been nervous......

Canteen owner to the rescue . " Anything else sir?"

"No" i can still feel the hot tea in my tummy.....coupled with the churning her presence is
causing...

i get up & muster the courage ......i had to do something about it......

I look in her direction, grimace & clap.
The lizard scampers away......

My friends promise me they will recommend me for the bravery award next Republic day.....