Courage.....

Today evening.....i joined my friends at the table for a snack....& right away saw her....
Have often seen her there, always near that table, her fave spot maybe.....have consciously avoided the table many a times, just to avoid her....

But now, here i am.....just about 3 feet away....staring....she also stared back.....
Finally managed to pull myself away & join the conversation with my friends, some stupid thing about how to say no to a marriage & blah blah.....my thoughts were all about her....

"what should i do?
should i tell these guys???
they must have seen her you dumbo, she is so close"

Food arrives......i steal a glance, her head is turned away...but i feel her eyes on me.....as if she is appraising me....maybe making up her mind...maybe if she should make a move.....i somehow eat the food....somehow.....difficult, given the train of thoughts.....

"if i do anything now, what will these guys say??
who cares, my life.
why you scared to make your move, she wont eat you....."

it takes an amazing self control to be sitting calmly, to seemingly be part of a conversation, when she is so close....almost touching distance.....

I raise my eyes......& meet hers....looking directly at me.....whats she thinking?? has she moved closer or am i imagining it??

"Shit......
Ok, calm, nothings gonna happen, it never does......she will go away.....like all the others who did... how long will this go on, you need to do something......."

Tea arrives.....she has actually moved closer........

"Be strong, look at her, go ahead & do it......it will be hardly anything.....you have seen so many people doing the same thing......
look at her!!!! cannot muster the courage to glance in her direction...!!!"

Tea is gulped down. Hot. I must have been nervous......

Canteen owner to the rescue . " Anything else sir?"

"No" i can still feel the hot tea in my tummy.....coupled with the churning her presence is
causing...

i get up & muster the courage ......i had to do something about it......

I look in her direction, grimace & clap.
The lizard scampers away......

My friends promise me they will recommend me for the bravery award next Republic day.....

:-) ......wonder who else will smile with me....

When love is gone, there's always justice./ And when justice is gone, there's always force./ And when force is gone, there's always Mom./ Hi, Mom! - Laurie Anderson

& so it has started.....

Yes, bye bye weekends
For the next 12 weeks, it will be "Introduction to marketing","Financial & Cost Accounting", " Business Economics" & "Business Mathematics".
They will be a part of my life for the next 2 years, in some form of the other.

Marketing, i can take. Part of it is what i do for a living,other parts intresting enough....
Economics - i always found boring, but today i am scared. I have been terrorised. We were made aware of words like boom, reccession, deppression, recovery, inflation (all forms - creeping, running, hyper/galloping & what not) & i pray to God, please dont let our economy become like Zimbabwe's!!! & i pray for those suffering in Zimbabwe.
Acounting - was a first ball bouncer!! First lecture after the inaugral function!! but it seems OK, i dont have to duck to let it go over my head!!
Though my intrest level increased once i realised, Ramalinga.R.Raju must have been a pro at this to do the scam.....
Mathematics - Statistics.....not again!!! :-)

But,
No sunday late morning wake up (Ok, i used to be up by 8 anyways, Akash will find this tough :) )
No more sunday afternoon siestas
No hot chapatis for lunch
No visits to Mocha's
No reading newspapers with all the time in the world
May not even catch any movie on the weekends
Hmmmmm.......

To be unlike jelly....

In the last one month, i have had 2 comments from 2 different persons.....

"Oh, you were always big, but now, you have become roly-poly like jelly!!"

"Are asa jelly saarkha kasa jhaala aahe tu???"

Could be the reason why i got up & went for walk on friday & saturday.....& will do so tomorrow onwards.....aaaj to sunday tha :-)

Old friends.......

If you see me smiling for no reason, generally cheerfull & looking forward to go somewhere as if to meet anyone, do not think i am in love.....
But ya, some old friends have brought back some cheer in life.....must have been 10 years since i lost touch with them.....but now they are all back...... & unlike people, they havent changed a bit!!! Suppandi, Tantri, Hooja, Mooshik, Anwar, Raghu, Little Mini, Shikari Shambhu, Ajay, Jaanoo & woooly woo.....they are all as much fun!!! :-)