Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sick thoughts........

In the Tom Sawyer book, whenever Tom was ill, he would imagine himself so sick that he was about to die. Today evening, after 2 days of sneezing and sniffing, i started feeling feverish and was shivering like anything. Like Tom, I also felt the end is near. Its a different story Tom's character is a teenager and I was one 10 years back! Anyways, rest and medication coupled with insomnia means I am better,not completely well, and cannot sleep.
Come to hate the weather here, cold hot cold hot......WTF! Delhi was good - cool, cold, coldest but all manageable.
Finding it difficult to do what I should be doing. N says I need a change, i say, again? Guess, I am just bored. T says get married. Dunno if that will improve matters or make them worse.
Recently blocked all communications with someone who responded rudely to a well meaning advice,which was asked for. I think that's a nice thing to do. Such people dont deserve time or attention. Learnt this from Manish Tiwari from the Indian National Congress. (Is it still called that?)
While on the subject, we are looking at scams of huge magnitudes, but what to people do with so much money? I mean, some of it may fund elections, but say even 100 Cr in your Swiss account and your life time aint enough to spend it. Plus if you stay in public life, you are not using it!Has our PM, who is counted as one of the finest brains in our country, succumbed to the trappings of power. Recently stated how its a privilege to work under the leadership of Sonia G. Knows which side his bread is buttered. No harm in knowing that, but acting accordingly? Thats not what he expect from him. Sycophancy is a Congress quality, but we would expect him to stay above it, speak his mind and do the right thing about his corrupt ministers. Coalition dharma be damned!!!! And Rahul G needs a new team of people who do real time research and tell him ground realities. He needs to know the voters have seen through the Congress's vote bank politics and moved on. Voter's world has real world problems and in most cases helping solve those gets you the votes. Look at Bihar, look at UP and MP. Crown Prince has managed to look quite dumb over the last few months, and I think, thats the result of some senior party leaders scheming. Obvious right, they toil for 25 - 30 years to reach near the top and this guy just reached the top just like that???
How important is acceptance? Sachin Tendulkar, Vinod Kambli and some fellow called as Ranade were the best of friends at one point of time. Today Ranade is a small time umpire, Kambli saw some success before being lost in the wilderness and Sachin we all know. Are Ranade and Kambli still cribbing about thier lives compared to Sachin or have they accepted thier destiny and moved on? On the other hand, at what point would they have decided they are nowhere close to Sachin and decided to move on...... Cos its likely they stopped trying and passed up oppurtunities. Tricky.
And while on the subject, Sachin proved why he is considered an all time great. Delayed the inevitable defeat but played one if the greatest knocks of his life at Centurion along with Dhoni. Interesting partnership - onw batsman with the best technique in the world and other with no technique whatsover.
Is TA really cursed in the matters of the heart? Or is it just a case of kisi ko mukkamal jahan nahi milta, kabhi zameen to kabhi aasmaan nahi milta...... Anyways, core TA has had a marriage now, and the new member has already said 'Get lost' to a TA welcome party :( Lets see.
And I am still looking for a reason. If I get that, 2 problems would be solved. but...... Again, lets see.....

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The last year of engineering…..

The last year of my engineering was the only one worth remembering. Some occasions, some people made it so. Some memories.

(A nostalgic moment in the digital world. Was trying to create space on my hard disk by looking up some old files that can be deleted and came across some of these snaps, others are courtesy Clinton's Picasa link. Most of these snaps are from 2003 and 2004)


I hate the day I was not a part of this snap above. It has been described as legendary, epic and this is one of those things that make me wish I could go back into time and correct the wrong :(


By all measures, this was an awesome trip. New Year’s eve at Alibaug. I have spent hours and hours listening to all that happened here. Its been 6 – 7 years and all people still talk about this trip. While some fun was standard, some wasn't, like the snap of Ramu and Vishal arguing because someone attempted more questions than the other in an exam!!!  Akash and Clinton exhausted after football. …..there are many stories from this trip….I so wish i could go back to this.


Making a point, and Gamri (Sarang) listening as well…… this is Sagar Vihar i think.


All of us @ Grand Central, Chembur after the farewell party.

Sitting : Navin, Jeddy, Rajeev, Sarang, Siddharth

Standing : Bhargav, Clinton, Me, Vijay, Jaideep, Neeraj, Ramu (Yes, he is there), Akash, Vishal, Sushant



The Project AGV team (Ravi, Clinton,Mr.Taktawala,Rachit, Naushad) in Ahmedabad.

F1310012F1310004F1310015  F1310017F1310019

Some learning, some posing, some fun! 2 days practical experience was much better than the year long theory we studied! This was an interesting group. While other groups fought about lack of initiative, not taking responsibility etc, we argued over bigger issues like Ram Mandir, Gaza strip and so on. Responsibilities were never an issue, we were like a company – Miya and Ravi were operational in charges, Clinton for finance and Logistics and I took care of HR and PR (seemingly simplest of all!). I don't recollect one meeting where we discussed what has to be done, even when we tried. Most visits to BARC were to copy assignments and spent discussing which canteen to have lunch and post that lying about on the soft green grass….


With Megha at the farewell party, this is the only snap of me from the party, thanks to Bhau! I had refused to go the the party and went only when dad gave his car. I was just sitting around away from people, consciously not getting clicked. I still cannot believe how she was ready with her pose even as she was talking with me!


Some traditional day. I think Clinton and Bhargav are in black as a part of a plan. Surprisingly, Baba isn't in black! The absurd Surd Hardajeet seen here…..


With Priyank (tallest in the group). This snap is bit after college got over. If their is ever something like the unlikeliest company I would be seen in – this is that place. Though this was before the orkut / facebook era.


After some chilled out evening. This is the day when Akash pointed to a mallu and said – Tiwariji, ask him to go, else i’ll whack him!!

I said : Whack!


Ravi and Sriniwas with Prerna, Neha, Jasmeet. Me and these girls were absolute strangers for the first 3 years, had a lot of fun in the final year!


Swathi and Deepti, that's the clearest snap I could get from the farewell day.


Manish Patil and Thale sir, one support another encouragement….

 TA07 TA08

Another new years eve, and this time I was there. @ Carter road.

That, i’d say, was a good year…..

Monday, December 13, 2010

Band Baaja Baraat……


No, this post is not about Bhargav’s wedding, that will be a separate post.

This is about the movie Band Bajaa Baarat that I saw today. A simple, entertaining movie which has been narrated in a simple manner. And more than anything else, unlike most romantic stories, it makes sense. It isn't your typical ‘love conquers all movie’. I would not even call it an emotional one, to me this is a practical one. Both parties at fault, both need to own up. When you love someone, tell them. And tell them when the time is right. And tell it in simple, clear words. Don't assume you love someone will lead to that person loving you – may happen, may not happen, they may realize after some time, or as Bittu says, ‘ghaas nahi dalenge”. No hints, no half hearted attempts. Else better to forget about whom you want to as your life partner. Mom dad will get you someone!!!

Set in the city I have come to love over the last one year – Delhi (5 trips so far, all productive, all seasons seen, all issues seen, all kinds of people met). The language is mostly Punjab, Haryana, UP Hindi and this movie is a delight for anyone from that belt.

Both the lead actors have done a good job being friends, business partners, lovers, enemies and competitors at various stages. Anushka Sharma has definitely shown acting skills in some scenes,apart from looking good, while Ranveer plays the role of a happy go lucky guy with elan. Hope they do well in the future as too.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

For the love of cricket.....

Today, I got into a bit of a tangle.This is what happened.

I had no business being in this debate. What have I got to do with the Pommies or the Aussies or Ricky Ponting or even Sachin Tendulkar for that matter. He does not give any of his runs to me, nor does he give me any money.

Same can be said about other participants in the debate (except for Shankar sir, who has a fair bit of experience in professional cricket). But still look at the comments and the emotions involved. In its place, each comment is valid, each point of view correct.

And its just for the love of cricket that we are all involved in it.

But the point that comes across is there has to be a line beyond which you get out of the game and get into personalities. If I hate Ricky Ponting for his arrogance (not that I myself am the humblest of all people, but life has taught me enough not to think less of anyone), there are people who call Rahul Dravid selfish, VVS underachiever, Murali a chucker, Pakistanis as cheats. In most cases, this is a matter of how people interpret - Ponting has been a consistent batsman, Dravid technically the best (a technician, in Siddhu's words!!), Murali the greatest bowler ever and Pakistanis , well , you can never say one thing about them.

Someone read through the comments and said I am being aggressive here - but all I am stating is that if I like SRT or Rahul Dravid, i do not say they are great because they are better than this player or that. They are great on their own merits on the field and may also have some shortcomings. But in a team game, that too something like test cricket, where quantity of runs or wickets do not really reflect the quality of the effort - its useless comparing individuals.For eg. in 2007, in the first test of India - England Test series Dhoni batted in unfriendly conditions, in a subdued manner with the tail for a better part of the fifth day. In Harsha Bhogle's words, it was the inveterate racer driving in the first gear. It rained soon, and the match was drawn, with just 1 wicket remaining. India went on to win the next test match and the series. Does that make Dhoni the greatest batsman?

Unless you are comparing on a case to case basis, such comparisons are useless.

To all those who lament SRT has not really won a Test match for India or some say he is selfish, i have one question : At the end of a match, has anyone seen him pack his bags with all the runs he scored and take them home?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Now that was a quickie.....

Just cant sleep. How much can i read and how much can i surf?? In that case,one thinks.

Today morning I adjusted the date on my watch to 1st,it was showing 31st. I then realised its December again. And my new year party at Goa, was 11 months back!!! 11 months, approx 330 days, Gone just like that. In a jiffy.

It feels like just yesterday when we got up and left for Goa. Spent 3 days of doing nothing or something irrelevant. Its like last evening i was walking on an empty beach. And someone called and said, 'wow, you sound happy!'. I remember every bit as if I have just come back from there. And today i realise its been 11 months!

My ex-boss used to say you have had a good year if you cannot remember what you did last new year's eve. By that logic, I have had a lousy year. I don't know, cos technically, i haven't.

At work(which more or less decides your moods), there has been appreciation, a promotion, a job change and some more appreciation. Some mentoring done and some recieved. Some leanings, some unlearning. On domestic and social fronts,nothing changed, we are still discussing same issues! I traveled around the country in bits and pieces - connecting with the south and reconnecting with the north. Experienced what winter actually is in Delhi earlier this year. Had a hospital trip. Experienced detachment. Saw people turning rude. Saw people remaining surprisingly cordial. Continued my planning of buying a car. Also effected some changes.

Not a bad year, if not spectacular either.

But all this and a lot more happened so quickly??? Like between yesterday and today???

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Working reasons……

In an earlier post, about an year back, I had mentioned it feels lousy to find a reason to get to work. That’s still true.

Today i got some 7 more reasons on Seth Godin's blog.

They are :

  • To be challenged
  • For the pleasure/calling of doing the work
  • For the impact it makes on the world
  • For the reputation you build in the community
  • To solve interesting problems
  • To be part of a group and to experience the mission
  • To be appreciated

What do you work for?

For me, while money as a reason had stopped working long time back, rest of the reasons do not really work for me. But  I’d say money is good enough. At least it pays for phone bill and petrol. And stuff like that.

I guess there is the difference. People like me, who need money for something, and hence need to work will not necessarily think of the other 7 reasons. But someone like Prince William would.

Guess it finally boils down to your needs and wants – if its Roti,Kapda, Makaan, you will not think beyond money. A lot of people have often given me lectures on how they work for the challenge, impact blah blah and then were very silent when I said – Good, you enjoy your work, give me your salary, or your car.

If at all, a reason for me to work would be to get a chance to travel and see places and meet people. But some people say even that becomes a pain in some time.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Insomniac thinking........

Warning : May not make sense.

A Raja (or DMK) taking steps to fleece the country or the PM ignoring those activities.Having no work or2having but not doing it. Replying back or staying silent. Justified investment with steady assured returns or reckless expenditure with instant gratification (right word that?). Socially active or socially dead. Long term commitment or short term TP. Lying or not saying/concealing the truth. Facts or beliefs. Plans or impulse decisions. To refer or not to refer. Impressions or judgements. Fight Club or Andaaz Apna Apna. Jagjit Singh or Midival Punditz. Lead or be lead. Complaint or action. Forget or remember. Evade or own up. Fight or forgive. Aromas or CCD. Goa or Rohtang Pass. Alone or lonely. Coffee or Tea. R.Guha or C.Bhagat (please dnt kill me for mentioning both in the same sentence. I can't sleep!). Viru or Dravid. Sachin in form or Sachin otherwise. Mumbai rains or Delhi winter.Bus or auto. Bus or car. Auto or car. Blue or silver. Cricket or football. Sex sells or SRK sells. Alone or with someone. Nokia or ofcourse,nokia!

Been trying to sleep for 2 hours now.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Being cynical…….

cynical adj. (pronounced sĭn'ĭ-kəl)

1. Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others: a cynical dismissal of the politician's promise to reform the campaign finance system.

2. Selfishly or callously calculating: showed a cynical disregard for the safety of his troops in his efforts to advance his reputation.

3. Negative or pessimistic, as from world-weariness: a cynical view of the average voter's intelligence.

4. Expressing jaded or scornful skepticism or negativity: cynical laughter.

People have had the opinion that I an a cynical person. I came across this test (not that I trust the reliability or the logic behind it) and took it to see how cynical I am. It just reiterated what I say to all the people calling me cynical.

The result :

You Are 60% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist.
You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

Take the test. Feel free to compare scores.

The benefit of being cynical / realist is you are not startled by most things and can generally react or not react at all. You in fact don't believe the stories they want us to believe.

Many things like politicians and their scams.And the fact that they will not go scot free after everything.Involvement of business houses, journalists and other such people who we generally believe to be honest in such scams.

Our democracy. Requires a separate post, though i guess everyone knows what a sham it is.

Pamela Anderson in India and Bigg Boss. She says she is here to create awareness about, uh, umm, something, clean water or what not and her assets just get her the required attention. (And of course, INR 2.5 Cr for a 3 day stay. Someone said silicone has better ROI than gold!!) or that Anna Nicole Smith married for love!

Saina Nehwal is a global superstar – come on, she plays a sport played in 5 countries and gets thrashed by the Chinese).

Reality shows are real.

Amir Khan is a superstar, Ghajini, 3 Idiots, Robot, My Name is Khan made the kind of money they claim they did.

Love is all conquering,selfless and blah blah.

Performance is awarded.

The downside is, in my line of work, a realistic projection is not always welcome.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Will you pick a known evil…..???

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before - Mae West

This,for some reason, came up as the funny quote today. It was probably funny in context of the situation Mae West said it. But by itself, its a smart statement. Its practical. Given a choice, I would always take the unknown one. Simply because it is not so much of evil as it is a perception of evil. While the other choice is a known evil. The chances of it springing a surprise and being a non-evil (?) are slim.

Making choices on the basis of expected rewards and punishments is crucial for survival. But if the rewards and punishments are known to a fair degree in one of the choices, the chances of it being picked are more. People like to play safe. Or at least they think they are playing safe. They are comfortable with the known evil, because they think it will not get worse from here. And by doing so, they close themselves to the possibility of getting something better in the other choice. Since you don't know really, you cannot rule out that the other (perceived) evil may not be so after all. And mind you, even if both choices are evil with their advantages (again,perceived), there may be a pleasant, not bargained for surprise in the unknown one. And there is that question: what would have happened if……

Whenever i have moved to a new company, i have always had someone or the other telling me “that's not a good company” or “that industry is not doing great” or “ U’ll do the same thing there” kind of things. It always boiled down to the choice I had – the comfort of the known evil I was with or the chance of better life with the unknown evil. I do not regret picking up the unknown choices i have picked so far.

Having said that, the choice between a comfortable job for some other company or starting up a new company of my own will be the real test for me. At least in this context. Because even if there is the challenge, the chance of success and riches and all that – there is always the practical consideration of a salary at the end of the month to pay all the bills.

In cases where choices are to be made for a life partner, most people prefer the easier known evil. This is actually funny – you are making a life altering decision, knowing very well this choice is definitely trouble!!! But then there is an emotional angle involved in the decision making and smartest of people have been known to make the dumbest of decisions when that happens. I am sure I'll go the unknown evil way again.

Lets see.

Friday, November 12, 2010

What I do for a living…..


This is a screen shot of the stats related to the readers of this blog.

While I seem to have a worldwide audience, it largely because of friends travelling to these places - Akash in Nigeria, Deepti (I believe) in Australia, Clinton in US and Singapore. Except in South America (Clint, please plan a trip there – a friend just came back from Brazil, if he liked what he saw, so would you!).

The breakup by OS is funny. Assuming not many people would read blogs on their phone ( I do, apart from doing other things), it means 1/3rd of the time I am the reader of my own blog . Wonder if that's too much?


Not really, cos my phone is meant to entertain me (in the absence of sufficient people to talk to everyday) when I am on the move….. plus my blog is a gateway to some other links and from there on…….

I am glad to see the number of IE users. Firefox and Chrome are rubbish and i have no clue what Version is. Can anyone enlighten me?

Anyways, this shows what i do for a living. Same set of numbers projected by this, by that and so on. And we call it analysis. Of course, its in a lot more detail and leads to, sometimes delightful, insights.

By itself, this post is meaningless……. but I am insomniac all over again. So.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

An alternate today……

Today I went shopping for books. Dumping some old ones and buying some i had wanted to. One is Makers of Modern India by Ramchandra Guha. Recently released, it details out the impact 19 individuals have had on the creation of modern India over the last 200 years. Another one is India after Gandhi by the same author. History of India after Independence. Have read this earlier, thought it as worth buying. Its a lesson in history independent of how the ruling classes wanted history to be projected. Was also looking for Sunny Days, by Sunil Gavaskar, but couldn't get it.

The third book i bought is For One More Day by Mitch Albom. Not a very recommended book, not a very celebrated author. The only reason i got it is because its small, easy to handle and read when travelling in bus.

For One More Day is the story of a mother and a son, and a relationship that covers a lifetime and beyond. It explores the question: What would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one? More about the book

To me, on the last page, the book also asked one more question – If you had one chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it?

In an ideal world I would find that question stupid. Simply because I believe one cannot do anything about what's happened. Secondly, there is no way to know if that alternate future would be the one that you wanted. But there have been times in not so distant past when i have wished things could have worked out differently. The question is what it is that i would have done differently and what point to make things work out differently. And there is only one thing i would want to do.

Study chemistry better in FYJC (11th).

Yes. For reasons unknown, while I was good in the first semester (which comprised of inorganic chemistry) in the second semester i hardly focused on it. And it was all organic chemistry. C-H-C, and so on, ugh!. Anyways, when i reached 12th i was not at all strong in the basic concepts of organic chemistry. Was in fact lousy and spent a lot of time and effort catching up but never really gaining the required confidence. On the other hand, i was overconfident with Physics and hence started devoting more and more time to Chemistry. Mathematics was taking care of itself, Biology and languages were being managed. Finally,as it turned out, i did just reasonably well, scoring nearly equal, but not enough in Physics and Chemistry. My PCM and aggregate score took a beating and affected my future.

Yes, think of it, one thing influenced it all - the college i went to (not so much the stream thankfully) the experiences i had (good and bad), the friends i made, contacts , maybe even the person i have turned out to be. For all i know,most of you would have never read this blog, someone else would have! I would have been in a different job profile? My facebook and linkedin contacts list would have been different.

So many possibilities – and you don't know for good or for worse.

But the question remains, for you as well : will you take the chance, if you get it ?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Done something about my love life.....

Today,I am happy.

Feel a lot lighter (which is quite the opposite of what i should have felt).Finally i have done what I should have done quite some time back.Cant really place what it was that prevented me from doing it. But doesnt matter, better late than never.

I do not dread the reaction. Nor the questions people may have. Its my life and i take steps based on my judgement (ofcourse mamma is an influencer!!). But the decision is mine.

Read in the morning that i need to do something about my love life. My love life?? Whats love got to do with me? Its always been desire that has been the driver. And so it was now. The desire to break free.....

From a situation dictated by someone else, on a stupidly constructed premise.....
From a self imposed ban on doing what you want to do just so that others are not hurt, offended or affected at any level....
From the belief that you can never be in control of the can be. More importantly, you can make sure some else doesnt control your life too much.

So, all this in mind, I choose to have Pizza for lunch.
The love of my life, as far as food goes (well, along with Pav Bhaji) It had been ages since i had it. Felt happiest I had felt in recent past - since the time we parted ways. Why? Cos a person (and mamma) believed Pizza was the reason we were ill in August. While that was disproved, I thought it better to listen to elders and avoid for some time. But had enough. I'll control what i want to do. A pizza once in a while doesnt hurt.:)

and it leaves you very happy happy! So, when are we having another one?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

How to be embarrassed and / or angry.......

By announcing to the world what you intend to do - whether you may end up doing it or not.
I announced in my class that I plan to buy a car.You see,in Consumer Behaviour,each one of us is expected to maintain a diary of the entire process for a purchase you may have done in the last few days. All of us are expected to be prepared and maybe called upon to present anytime.

This morning the prof came up to me and said, Rachit, have you done you exercise? I said yes, but i forgot my diary. He said no problem, just present.

So i went about giving a speech on my car purchase process (which started quite some years back). He appreciated the way how I dissected the case and presented it.

Screw up - all ppl in class came up with their experiences, opinions, advice.
Worse - next few weeks they will all keep asking 'car li kya?'.
Worst - I will not be buying one.

Cannot justify the payout and dont want to buy a set of 4 wheels, seats, chassis and engine pretending to be a car.So, the purchase is put on hold. Indefinitely. Now people will rub it in (in all innocence or deliberately).An embarrassed smile or angry glare would be the reaction based on the situation.

This post started on Sunday and was initially intended for only embarrassment. By Monday, the realisation had sinked in that i'll have to postpone the purchase and by night people had (deliberately or otherwise - no way of knowing) instigated anger about the same. Hence talking about both at once.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Best use of time......

Is to blog. Especially when you are waiting alone at the airport.Waiting,cos i reached early. Delhi traffic moved faster than we thought it would. Greater Noida to airport in just over an hour has to be a miracle - and a credit to the drivers driving skills. The Innova moved as if its an auto.

The guy next to me in the morning flight is also waiting here.

Its the start of winter in Delhi. You can feel the dryness, and the chill (ok, as much as you can feel @ 19 deg cel.) But yeah, the shawls and sweaters and mufflers are out in full flow here!

Another auntie whom I had seen in the morning flight is here. Has a kid. Inki twacha se inki umar ka pata hi nahi chalta!

The Noida expressway is amazing. Pain is in reaching there.

Looks like flight delayed.

Height may have advantages, but the disadvantages are painful. Its difficult to fit into seats in planes, buses or cars. And you have to stretch out and put on the projector at the clients office.

One Muslim lady very agitated. She was checked very throroughly it seems - asked to remove coat and head scarf. Her logic is would you check a girl in mini skirt. Ab usko kaun samjhaaye ki mini skirt main check karne ko bacha kyaa....???

Boarding announced.

Monday, October 25, 2010

In short......

Movies - Jhoota hi sahi was good. TP. Though i wonder if such people exist - confused in love. Robot bored me. For whatever reason, i find the Thalaivar amusing, nothing more. Guess it would take a certain kind of mind to accept and enjoy that kind of movie. But then, i enjoyed Dabbang! Wall Street was one good movie. Greed is still good. I am dissapointed by the Action Replay trailer itself. Hope Guzarish and Golmaal 3 do not dissapoint.

Focus - It's a good thing to have. Last week. I went with an auto guy who started looking around all the over place, into his auto, next guys auto and so on the moment we stopped in the jammed traffic. When the traffic moved, the vehicle ahead would move ahead, he would be caught unawares, by the time he moved, some other vehicle would come in front of us. This way, this guy cost me about 5 mins. I reached office at 9.42 and was marked late by a mere 2 minutes.

Destiny - Bhargav, the safest of drivers I have known, and his family (including his infant bhanja) had a horrible car accident. That all of them are safe can now be attributed to Him and his designs! My belief in His mysterious ways has been reinforced! Cricket - The Australian team went back without winning a single game. Unfortunate in the ODIs though. But that has probably has dented their confidence before the Ashes.

Confusion - This is funny. Now that my new office has moved to Chakala, one thing is certain, i'll never take a car to office. Plus there is a parking problem there too. So, even if i do buy a car, i'll still travel by bus/auto. So, in theory, i dont need a car - no reason to buy one. Then comes the problem of not having a parking place where i stay. And then the problem of down payment. Still, all this has not stopped my mind from being confused about should i go in an used Scorpio or a new Punto. Or maybe even the new Fabia, the i20 or the Indica. Loads of confusion.

Thanks - This is my 100th post. Not a huge achievement compared to many bloggers like Amitabh Bacchan. But when i started out, i was not sure i would continue for long. Infact was sure I would stop soon. But i started enjoying the idea of putting across my point without worrying about who would care to know! As it turns out, you people do! Thanks!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Songs provoked thoughts….

I settled into the seat as comfortably as i could. Its going to be a long journey. 2 hours at least. Better not to complain, had it not been the first stop, I would have stood all the way.

Next seat guy has an iPod. So do I. Nice companion when travelling. Entertains, prevents from thinking. It would be so nice if one could think at will. And not think at will. No idle mind, no devils workshop.

Set the favorites playlist. The song starts in the singer’s soulful painful voice.

Kab khayal aapka nahin hota,
dard dil se juda nahin hota…..

Aaaah, pain. Loss. There it is again. What the iPod was supposed to help avoid. Useless thing. But then, its a thing. The feeling is mine. Its with me. Yesterday, it was the AC in office that provoked it. What’s chill got to do with your state of mind?

Haal e dil kis tarah likhun unko,
hath dil se juda nahin hota.

Isn't it stupid? Tell them what you are going through when they are very cause. And why would I want to keep my hand away from my heart. No one seems to be bothered. I’ll live with my pain, thank you.

Dil ne kuch un se keh diya hoga,
bevajah wo khafah nahin hota.

But isn't it also stupid to live with it. Well, i guess, you have to live with the consequences of what you do….. or don't.

Wo khafah hote hein to hone do,
wo kisi ka khudah nahin hota.....

Moving on is the best thing. Let those who want to play God, do so. One cannot undo what has happened. There doesn't seem to be a way back, so its better to find a way ahead. And anyways, its not as if I'll die. Enough things, good and bad, in the world to replace a part of life you couldn't have. And soon or later, dard dil se juda ho jayega……

To quote Martin Luther King Jr - “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."

Next song. Perfect.

Ek brahman ne kaha hai ki ye sal aacha hai …

Naye wado ka jo jal dala hai wo aacha hai ….
Rehnumaooo ne kahan hai ki ye saal aacha hai….

Dil ke khush rakne ko ’ghalib’ ye khayal aacha hai …..

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Another question worth asking........

The need is not defined. Infact, there is no need as such.
Then there are the influencers.
More important, affordability. Credit is good, but rest is a f*#@$d case.
Though thats in relative terms. Revise expectations, all is well. Expectations, along with desires,infatuations, they say, are the root cause of unhappiness. They are right.
Lets see which way happiness is achieved - revising expectations or fullfilling the need that doesnt exist! In a way, a revision has already happened, but then the expectation was too high!

Dilbert's co-worker once typed out a 3 page note on her Carpal Tunnel problem. Dilbert asked her, 'are all your troubles self inflicted?' I think that same question can be asked to me.
C'est la vie........

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A question worth asking.....

तेरा चेहरा ही आईने जैसा
क्यो ना देखु, है देखने जैसा

तेरा चेहरा ही आईने जैसा

तुम कहो तो मै पुछ लूँ तुमसे
है सवाल एक, पुछने जैसा
दोस्त मिल जायेंग़े कई लेकिन
ना मिलेगा कोई मेरे जैसा

हम अचानक मिले थे जब पहले
पल नही है वो भुलने जैसा

तेरा चेहरा है आईने जैसा

Likhne waale ne kya likha hain..... Jagjit Singh ne kya gaaya hain!!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Just keep talking.....its gender equality era....

It was lunch time and i had a call, i just waved out to people, requesting them to be quiet. The boys said - hum to chup hain, ladkiyan halla macha rahi hain. Full time bad bad karti rehti hain. Gals said - shutup, you guys are shouting aur ladkiyan bekar hi badnaam hain. Infact, guys talk more than girls do!
They finally quitened and i continued with the call. Sometime during the day, i came across the word, physicst. That reminded me of an English langauge chapter I had in school or college. Dunno if any of you ever read it - My Son, the Physicist, by Isaac Asimov.

As per wikipedia, My Son, the Physicist is a science fiction short story by Isaac Asimov. It was commissioned by Hoffman Electronics Corporation and appeared in February 1962 in Scientific American. It later appeared in Asimov's collection Nightfall and Other Stories (1969).
The story goes like this -
Gerard Cremona, a communications engineer with an American space agency, is trying to maintain communication that has been established with an expedition that has apparently reached the planet Pluto after four years in space. The difficulty lies in the significant delays for the radio signal to travel back and forth, making timely and meaningful interaction impossible.
His proud mother, who happens to visit his office whilst he is wrestling with the problem, ultimately advises him to keep talking and get the expedition crew to keep talking as well. That way, although it normally takes twelve hours for radio waves to cover the distance, it's possible to have effectively continuous conversation.
As Mrs Cremona points out, all women know that the secret to spreading news is to Just Keep Talking. Thus, by constantly transmitting data and instructions from both ends, and interjecting questions or responses as needed, no time need be wasted.

So, all i am saying is, Asimov(who is considered to be one of the finest brains of the world) and I do not agree. I have myself seen cases where women just sit quietly for no reason while men go on blabbering..... :)

Monday, September 27, 2010

Stupid, if you ask me.....

We both took the left turn leading into the Rabale village at the same time. The Thane Belapur road is seeing a lot of container traffic of late and hence this narrow road is preffered by a lot of small vehicles. Now i just acclerated and went ahead - straight,there was ample space. Did not cross his path, was still on the left side as i went uphill. But for some reason - made a lot of noise as he came next to me, started moving left, made sure i slowed down and stopped, glared at me and showed the middle finger and raced away. Was a young chap, looked educated. But i dont know what i should call him - honestly, you never have anything to prove to a biker when you are driving a Skoda Octavia!
Maybe stupid, because in 30 secs he was stuck in the Rabale village market and i caught up with him, tapped on the window, waved and smiled. And then zoomed straight, left turn and into the maze of lanes in sector 6. Even if he followed me (which was impossible, he was badly stuck due to oncoming traffic), he would never make out where i went.
But, i dont get one thing - why do i meet so many people of this type??
Some time back i met a guy in the bank. Rock star t-shirt and all that. 2 mins back he was on the phone telling someone he has got the job, sal 16k, and explaining ' package kam hain par oppurtunity acchi hain'. Then, for some reason, he asks me, 'why you using this cheap phone?' or something like that. I had to very politely tell him, 'the phone costs more than the salary you havent earned yet.' but he did not get the point. ' but you should use a blackberry if you want a business phone'. I thought ignoring him would be a better idea.
And i am not even thinking about the guy i had gone with for my MP trip - he evidently thinks the world is as he has seen it, and i have learnt the hard way that it may not be so. I guess even he will learn.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

In the middle of it all....

Madhya Pradesh, as the name suggests, is in the middle of our country. Indore and nearby regions would be more or less at the the centre, a bit to the left. But when you are travelling to rural areas in those places, you will be forgiven for thinking you are in the middle of nowhere. You have a road (if at all) and land all around you. With fields, fields and more fields all around. Soybean, cotton, wheat grain, chili waiting for harvest. Did i observe all that? And all the things that were on offer to be observed? Except for some things on the last day, no. All because I was distracted, no actually mindf*#@ed throughout the trip. But by the end of it, i got a valuable insight : you cannot help who you are with or what situation you are in. But you can try and not let it affect what you are doing. Guess I am still to learn that. some more things : importance of flexibility, protectionist (??) superiors, inspiring confidence, affluence and poverty in rural India, Indore - a mini Mumbai, ignoring hunger, theory of relativity (as i understand it - the UP trip seemed to be over in a jiffy, the MP trip never seemed to end, despite both being of same duration), solitude, peace and thinking about where your life is headed (had to do something na, reached the airport 3 hours before takeoff!) and so on.......may or may not be continued......

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Jeetne ka jasba........

"Main dhanda fayde ke liye karta hoon. Agar fayda na hota, to main dhande main aata hi nahi" So spoke the guy who had got into the bus at SEEPZ. Did not seem very educated, was about 45, seemed to have done good for himself in life, but not good enuff to own a private vehicle. (said, kaun traffic main atakne ka jhanjhat lega).

Was giving this gyaan to a young chap with him. His further gyaan was about how you can win anything in life if you have the right attitude (he used the word jasba).

I looked up from the book i was reading. He reminded me of an incident that took place in 2002.

When I was in engineering sem 3 (Elec 3). It was sports week. Couple of girls from my class and good friends of mine, lets call them A & D, participated in ladies doubles badminton. I saw them win the first round match easliy and then come and sat near us. Discussion veered towards the next match with the plump girls from Electronics sem 5.
Some one told A - all the best, they are good players, hope you win.

A (fresh from her confidence boosting win) : Mujhe agar haarna hi hota, to main khelti kyun
Me : you mean u'll go on to win the tournament?
A : ofcourse.
Me : are u sure, you guys have hardly practised.
A : yes
Me : that sounds like overconfidence.
A: no, thats a winners attitude. I am not a pessimistic like you. I play to win. Nothing else.

We all looked at her. She was serious.

Me : great, all the best!

Next day, they lost 7 - 1, 7 - 0.

UP and about...... (continued)

I have heard a lot of quawwalis over the years. Mostly filmy. But some original too. Like "dhalta suraj dheere dheere dhalta hain dhal jayega...." But over here (thanks to the cab driver) i heard some new ones, with topics ranging from "shauharparast" biwi to the praise of Mother. The driver had a pen drive full of such songs. When I got bored, he said aur bhi hain... and then started the bhoole bisre geet (as only drivers can play) - songs about judaai, bewafai, sangdil sanam - the best being the songs from Kishan Kumar's debut (and i think only movie) - Ishk main hum tumhe kya bataaien, kis kadar chot khaaye hue hain & Accha sila dia tune mere pyaar ka, yaar ne hi tod dia ghar yaar ka........ sob.....sob....senti ho gaya main.... Thank God for my mp3 player,Jagjit Singh, Ghulam Ali, Rafi, P.L.Deshpande and even Bryan Adams! Else i would have never survived those 1000 kms i covered....

For the first time in my life, i crossed the River Ganga. Twice, once near Hardoi, next time near Kannauj. Mom said I should put some coins it the river, dad said i should have prayed on the river (The driver did). I just wondered whats the big deal,looks like a big nalla. But the driver had immense faith in the river. Says the river is God (ok, agreed it gives water for irrigation and all and was a source of livelihood many centuries back), it can sure diseases and so on. It seems the water tastes sweet even at Kolkatta despite travelling over 1000 kms from Gangotri. Well, I believe him, just so that I don't have to test the claim.

The biggest disappointment for me was visiting Amethi. Its the the constituency of the crown prince - Rahul Gandhi. The Gandhi family has represented it for over 30 years in the Parliament. Yet, there is hardly any development. Even basics like roads are in a shabby condition. They say it was once a hub for small scale industries (In Rajiv Gandhi's era), but now there isn't much commerce, just agriculture and politics.

I always wondered from where do all the grains, potatoes, and other things we consume actually come from. Now i know. Never knew Farrukhabad and Kannauj are the potato capital of India. 50 kg available for Rs.135. Malihabad is the mango capital, the dasaheri type. You can actually see those mango trees as you land over Lucknow. Rows and rows of trees. In Malihabad,you are not big by money or the size of your house. How many trees in your plantation?Some of the bigger ones have 1000 - 1500 trees. Just outside Malihabad, you have rows and rows of bungalows. Holiday homes,people come here and stay in the summers enjoy the cool shade and the mangoes.

Chikan - Famous Lucknovi karigiri on cloth. Lovely but expensive.

Apart from government officers, UP is one place where Brahmins are respected. And rather expected to act like Brahmins. The driver couldnt believe i eat egg! The hotel boy - "aap to Tiwari hain, sharaab kabaab nahi lenge!" Now who will tell them, even if i don't, loads and loads of other Brahmins do.

I like Mayawati's interest in the Ambedkar Parks, some people said almost all government officials, politicians and goondas are gaining something or the other from them. And they are huge! I did a aerial inspection of the parks as i took off from Lucknow. In the distance i also saw Mayawati's helicopter doing the same. It seems its a Saturday routine. But the elephants look funny!

Now, lets see where I go next.......

Monday, September 6, 2010

UP and about......

UP = U.P = Uttar Pradesh (Which, if I am to believe Maananiy Mukhya Mantri Su. Shri Mayawati Ji, is on its way to be an Uttam Pradesh)

I have always maintained I am a Mumbaikar. Born and brought up. Despite numerous trips to Jhansi and Jabalpur, i never really related to these places. But, somewhere, I am whats called as a bhaiya. A part of me is from UP/MP. I am somehow related to these places - though, i admit, this came to my notice only after Kajrare kajrare (Bunty aur Bubli)and Beedi jalaile(Omkara) were released.

Last Monday, i left for Lucknow in an emergency situation (which, by the way, was the biggest work related emergency i had faced - half and hour after being told there are no emergencies declared in this company. And its true, everyone from the MIS guy to senior consultants expressed surprise at me travelling at such a short notice. I feared i may spoil the culture in the new company, but just blamed it to being my life - all people i know who joined the company recently went abroad, i went to rural UP. Places like Lucknow, Kanpur, Bittur, Malihabad, Itaunga, Kannauj, Hardoi, Farrukabad were all just names till last week, now they are all reality. I am hoping for some other names like London, Singapore, New York etc to will also turn to reality soon :) ).

Took a circuitous Mumbai - Delhi - Lucknow route. By the time I reached,the emergency had subsided. BP was normal and i was looking forward to doing some relaxed work. Which i did. Only i traveled like 1000 kms. In rural UP (plus Lucknow). And saw and learned a lot.

Whole of UP seems content with their lot. Even the richest of farmers and businessmen hardly do anything out of the way to help thier lives. The poor are content being poor. Met some retailers who had sold just 1 TV in 3 months. And they are doing nothing about that. Difficult to believe unless you see it.

The rich in UP live like rich should. Huge kothis, lawns, multiple cars and so on. The upper middle class lives like the way they would live if they were super rich. The government servants are the new royalty. UP is one place where being a government servant is still rated highly. The general population looked fairly better off - but 30 kms out of city and there is contrasting poverty. They say Kanpur, 90 kms away, is pathetic and real representative of UP.

People are nice. ask anyone for directions. Google maps wouldn't be as precise! Every one from driver to hotel guys and people i met seemed co-operative soft spoken nice guys. (Maybe this was a Lucknow region thing). One would say Lucknowi tehzeeb is no longer seen, but believe me it is. Not conveyed in chaste Urdu, but general behavoir, normal conversations, even arguements happen very decently. Traffic in general seems disciplined, but the general rule is the other person should look before i cross! Groups of young girls and guys would be 'hanging out' at CCD's (the one at Gomati Nagar is awesome, also at Hazratganj) and it was fun to listen to them saying silly things just to be talking to the girls / guys in the group. Interacting with the opposite sex doesn't come easily to them maybe. A lot of beautiful people too, stylish, urban. But that was just one section of the city.

My Hindi has been thoroughly exposed. I am lousy. Wanted to say 'disappointing' in Hindi, thought for about a minute and still did not get the word....

People in Lucknow love cash, ATMs across the city, every corner. And most payments to be done by cash. No debit cards. Give them cash, they will happily count!

The trip's timing was good, rains and greenery all around. Fairly good roads too, so travelling was a joy.

Also went to the Bhool bhulaiya in the Bada Imambara. It was fun to listen to a matchstick being lit or the guides whispering into the wall at a distance of about 330 feet. He attributed it to "deewaron ke kaan hote hain".

Btw, in between all this, I also did some work.....and met some intresting people.... some of those NGO's and self help groups are doing really good work in the rural areas....


Saturday, August 28, 2010


Yes, this took me about 20 - 22 years back. Rakshabandhan day. In the snap, me and my sisters - Suchita, Monica and Sonica.

Me and Monica(seated on chair) are elders, born within months of each other. Suchita and Sonica (standing right and left) are respective younger siblings. Sonica got this snap out of some old dusty album. Over the years, both our families have often remembered this day and had a good laugh over it.

Story of this snap : the elders look happy, smiling (dimples and all!!). But look at the scowling younger ones.
Well, before the snap was taken, both families went shopping.
I vaguely remember, all of us had got into our old Fiat and gone to Gandhi Market in Matunga, it was raining, dad had some trouble finding parking and things like that.....
While the parents and elders got what they wanted, the baccha log liked the same thing - a football shaped water bottle! Unfortunately, there was just one piece available and ensued was a tug of war! Finally the parents took the bottle away (hence the scowls!)
Now I cannot recollect who finally got the bottle..........

Friday, August 20, 2010

Between jobs......

In the last break (, it was just a break from work. At the back of my mind, i still had the list of things to do once i am back to work.
Now, in effect, i had the same thing, but still this was different. For one, now i was not worried about what i had in store once the break is over. I might have been anxious, though. After all, new job, new places, new people.
But till then,nivaant........
Not that it was planned to be a nivaant break. After planning out trips to places like Bangkok, Pattaya, Bali, Leh , Vaishnodevi, Lonavala, Matheran........ which were all cancelled due to reasons varying from professional commitments and exam(which never happened) to plain laziness.....i was left with an option of doing nothing much.... even Akash dropping in at precisely the same time did not help - a trip to Mocha is all we could manage.....
And it isn't as if , i did nothing at all... i did a few things like...
  1. Rest - nothing better than plain old rest. Get up, eat, sleep......
  2. Stay away from PC - my phone took care of my net requirements, hardly touched a keyboard last 20 days
  3. Cricket - Test matches, ODI's, T20's, replays, classic matches, best performances, best catches - bring it on!!! Thank you Star Cricket and Ten Cricket.
  4. Hospital trip - Munnabhai said 'Zindagi main bahut kuch paheli baar hota hain mamu!" so, i had my first hospital trip. Thanks to one mosquito. And for the first time i had experiences relatd to wheelchair, blood pressure, IV and so on. Sad. And dont let anyone tell you how much fun it is to have pretty nurses taking care of you. When you are in hospital, your only thought is to get out asap - even if Katrina Kaif is the nurse!
  5. Moustache - Kaafi din shave nahi kia, socha dekhu kaisa lagta hoon, to rakh li. Jury is out.
  6. Shopping - after maybe 2 years. some formals. 25 mins, 6 shirts, one trouser, done. I never get how guys, and i mean men, spend hours on shopping.

Phew, thats quite a lot of things done.....from Monday, back to life (but i dont know how it will be)

Monday, August 16, 2010

Back home.....

You may come back home from a vacation, official tour, some function in the family or something like that, but coming back home after 3 days in hospital is quite a feeling.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Not that lazy....

Ideally, I should have put up a couple of posts by now - after all, what am I doing for the last few days???

But there is a certain something about being lazy.........doesn't matter if you are 28 now.....
Funnily, 27 seemed just a number, 28 seems like a "time is running" out signal...... dunno for what though...... guess for some of those time bound goals one sets.....

Anyways, among other news is a change of job. And believe me, leaving a place after 4 years isn't easy.... but one of those things you got to do...... moving on.....

Have another 10 days to do something or , as i have been doing, nothing. Lets see what happens....

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Blog name justified……

Great. I just reached office - by bike,cos there is some auto/cab strike. The sun was so harsh, i never figured it wd rain. Ayways bothe jackets were missing. Till ghatkopar, it was like a day in may! After that, wen there is no whre to hide, nowhere to run, it poured, for precisely 6 minutes. Drenched, looked back and the sun light reflected on the mirror from the flight landing over ghatkopar, going ahead, no rains near office.
Story of my life, hence the blog name....

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Comment on my state of mind.....

S : Chalo, i am leaving. You are staying till late
Me : yeah, about 8.
S starts packing her stuff.
Me : even I am leaving. (Suiting action to word - start, turn off computer, turn off)
S: whatt??you said you were staying just now.
Me : yeah, now my mood changed and am not staying.
S : you have womanly mood swings, in fact, worse than women have.....

Sunday, June 6, 2010

And i also went for a walk……

Yes. Once it became clear i am not destined for movie today, me and sis decided to go for a walk / stroll. then we thought, we can go for a walk and coffee. or maybe a short drive and coffee. Discussing where to have coffee, we came up with some nice places ( she had one , i had 2). And we ended up going to Le Cafe, Chembur. For some,coffee, lemon twist, Panini (cottage cheese!!) , pasta and blueberry cheese cake!

Mind you, we are still dressed for a walk . stroll…….

I guess this is another addition to other such “spur of the moment” plans – like when me and Akash set off for a short drive and ended up at Bandra bandstand at 1am, or  when me and Silky (wearing shorts which were later described by Akash as “kacchas”) reached a Barista at 12 am….. hmmmm….

Why do people race…??

I never got the answer to this question, simply because the bike i ride answers a second question, “why do people cruise..??”

But, at 200cc /18 BHP, she is capable of answering the first question, and she did that today.

It was Adventure Biking day today!!!

It wasn't planned to be, nor has the adventure got anything to do with taking on challenges, steep and slippery roads or any such thing, it was just a state of mind and the bike responding to it. Because, it was the same home to office , office to home stretch that i do everyday. Typically, in a single line, last lane,  sedate speed, and calm mind. You see, normally i am not very adventurous with my bike.

Today, of course, was different.

Set off for office – normal style, and for some reason (some thought or remembrance that  bought about a sudden rush of blood) kept on increasing my speed, weaving in and out of traffic(at one point i had a ST bus behind me), mostly in the first lane, super fluctuating speeds and at one point i suddenly came down from about 60 kmph to zero. My lovely bike, stable as ever, stopped but not before i had almost touched that guy and he fell on the ground.

Hua aisa, the suman nagar signal turned green, all the trucks moved ahead and this fellow , who was in a hurry, decided to cross the road in front of the trucks. On the left, i was speeding in, but instinctively cautious ( cos people do this at that place everyday!) and this guy came just in front…. eyes in front, eyes on both mirrors, horn, left hand fingers (clutch),right foot (rear brake) and right hand fingers (front brake) all worked in a co-ordinated manner for me to stop – the fellow was still startled and fell down. I was about remove my helmet , but the traffic guy helped him up, whacked him and said “tumhi jaa saheb, traffic jaam karu naka”.  So, off i went.

I had reached office in about 7 minutes less than i normally do (its 19 kms). reflecting on the ride as i sipped on to the lassi, i said, i’ll drive normally on the way back.

That was not to be the case.

For the mind has been far from normal, far from calm for the last 2 days. As i set about doing things, all the irritation built up and finally when i did not get any partner for the movie (i had 4 potential partners the previous day – next day all vanished for reasons ranginging from  “going with wife” to indecision) i just left. With the mind racing already.

I probably recorded the lowest time from office to home. My bike might describe the ride as brutal and violent – quite the opposite of what its used too.

But it was fun. Now i know the answer.

(PS: Guruji’s response to these adventures - “With great power, comes great responsibility.Be careful”. Guess this will be useful when i get my Triumph!!)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Change....(for those who dont accept it...)

Despite the brainfreeze (must say the support and suggested remedies have helped...:) )-i have been able to think up something, if not original,can atleast share with you something......!!! Remember this, that was my point of view.... the dude in the link below, has an alternate on..... PS: i love my phone!! Thanks Anon, for all you advices!

Sunday, May 30, 2010


I tried to put up a blog, but just cdn think of anything on anythhing - some topics conidered : my version of have you ever loved a woman, abt the book, abt the 'kind of person' for marriage criteria, abt wat includes in 'kat rahi hain' (typical response to 'kya haal hain'), abt anything else in general.....but......

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

This is fun......


Monday, April 12, 2010


All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another - Anatole France

Precisely my feelings on experiencing probably the first earth shattering change i have had in my life…….shifting from Nokia 3600 slide to Nokia E72….and a “qwerty” keyboard….I mean, i have seen changes that are more natural in life, but they have been expected, gradual and generally come with an explanation……but this was sudden, and more complicated than i thought…..for 2 days. i just couldn't figure out the best way to hold the phone while typing……and then came the pain of slow typing….looking for characters / editing issues, mistakes and irritation….worse, i was no longer good at what i used to be awesome at….typing sms in quick quick time….:( ……Now, it was like Sachin Tendulkar trying to bat left handed…..(jyaaada ho gaya, and he would that amazingly well too)……no. but you know, you get the point…..on one occasion, i seriously considered returning this phone and getting the old one back…..but then i thought “Practise!” and i am getting better…, now its both hands, both thumbs  and life is getting back to normal……

Someone had said – Change is the only constant, or something to that effect….and now i know (always knew, but now i have thought about and am documenting my thought here) that adapting to that change is one of my talents (the plural of talent is an indication of hope, that i may uncover some other talent as well :)) …a couple of years back, i had told that to Jerry Rao (Google him guys) without much conviction…. even then i believed that being able to face up to change , which may come up to you in the form of a challenge or failure, and trying to set out what needs to be done next has helped me survive….and another thing i have learned is, once you have adjusted to the changed status (which takes some effort, agreed with the quote above) , you don't really feel any effects of it, as in, life aligns itself with the changed status and moves on…..this is true not just for changes in work life, love life, parents, society but also important things like a new phone……and then you are most likely to agree with this….

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed - Irene Peter

None of the above is rocket science, but i have seen a lot of distinguished people say similar things, so i thought i might as well chip in…..that’s all theory, me and my phone are illustrations…..there are some other illustrations too, lets keep them for some other day….

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Wash my hands of it….

I don't like my hands wet or dirty, greasy, oily. Almost compulsively, i have to go and wipe them clean as soon as possible. Today, i did the ashtami pooja as dad has gone to Bangalore. As i was preparing for it, i must have washed / cleaned my hands at least 7 times in about 15 minutes. When the pooja started, my hands were full of all ghee, havan samagri, flower petals, water, nariyal pani, camphor powder and God only knows what not. I cannot get up from a pooja and just cleaning with the dry cloth was not helping….most uneasy 30 mins spent in recent times……

Recently read this - In the movie Trishul (1978), Yash Chopra and Salim – Javed had put in a Shakespearean touch. Sanjeev Kumar’s character was often shown washing his hands – implying he trying to wash of the guilt of having betrayed his love for the riches he got for marrying another woman.

I wonder now…

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Hey, long time…..

I had last met him in March 1998, during my SSC exams. I cant say we were friends. I know nothing about him ,apart from his name and the fact that he sat 2 desks away from me during exams. He had his circle of friends, i had mine. I remember him as bit brash kind -  “Kon gadge baba???” he had asked that to our class teacher. I still shiver as i think of her. Her response was typical. “Pratham to saral ubha raha aani kaana khaali khaa…..” :)

Couple of days back, i heard someone call out my name as i was getting out of the ric. Turn back to see a smiling, fair, half bald guy walking rapidly towards me.

“Pehchaana kya??”

“ Rohit Takarwankar??”

“ Abe tune to pehchaaan liya!!! Bahut time hogaya bh#^@*^$ !!!!!!”

Haan yaaar, 12 saal ho gaye hain…”

And for the next 1 minute, all we did was laugh. We would have looked like lunatics to any third person.I dont know why he was – i did because the above incident came to my mind, bringing along a flood of memories – school, cricket, Damle mam, Maa, friends, shorts, scandal, failed in algebra….soon we went our ways….he was out of touch with most school guys….and he says he is not on orkut!!! i dont think i’ll ever follow up with him, nor will he.  But the day i met him was definitely one of the best days i have had in recent times….

And it set me thinking, how would i react if i were to run into someone i was close to after a gap?

After all, if i am not in touch with someone i was once close to, there must have been a reason, The memories are not likely to be the best ones, infact the first thing that would come to your mind will be the reason why you stayed away all these years. Can be circumstantial. Will that be forgotten? Will i be civil to the person – “Hello, how have you been?”. I guess the best would be to see how the other person reacts and then decide – but what if they decide to do the same?

And will the time gap have any effect – people mature, grow and the same situation/decision that looked right at that time looks silly now.

And, then, lets say you resume the relation. Do you pickup where you left off (as in, not the unsavory incident but more like the comfort level you had and so on….). I think its best to keep things simple, formal……

Hmmm, there are atleast 3 people i can think of whom i’d like to run into……what would i do…..AS – i would probably be cordial, AR – Talk, interact but rude, snide, intentionally hurtful comments (expecting the person to guess this though and steer clear of my path!!) and the third person would probably be whacked. Again.

Ok, decided. Though i know from experience now, what actually happens in such social situations is always different from whats planned on paper or what you have advised other to do…….

Last night, i was in a hospital as an year old kid had a small accident. Small in the sense, it was an injured small finger.Just as I reached the hospital, the doctor was explaining all possible scenarios – including partial amputation. Speechless for a couple of moments, it was unnerving to be in the room, look at the kid…..i could have left for home, but did not, instead offering to help in any way i can. At about 2, i went to a colleague’s house nearby to sleep – but could not sleep till i got the news that the surgical processes went off well and the finger has been saved.

Why i was so anxious is something i cannot get. I’d never met the kid before, i cannot claim to be the best of friends with the kid’s parents, and honestly would not have cared for someone else’s problem. Or so, i thought.

Maybe, i am just more human than i think i am……

Saturday, February 27, 2010

We have never met…..

You don't know me. Most of the world doesn't. But i have always been there - seeing, listening, feeling, absorbing, archiving, reacting…..

And its time i spoke. All those things bottled up have only harmed me,physically and mentally.

Its not a nice place to be in. The mind of a person. And its worse when you are helpless in situations when you what i the right thing to do, but you just don't do it.

Like, when someone else started telling me this is primary for you, that isn't, i should have told him, boss i decide what's primary in my life. i did not. At that time. At a later stage, yes, but after much irritation and yes, another provocation.

When every breath i take if likely to be controlled – by coercion or otherwise, i should stand up and say, its my life and I'll do what damn feel like doing, be it roaming late night on the streets, talking on phone, buying what i feel like, working day night, or sleeping day night, going out with someone particular, eating what i want to – ITS MY FREAKING CHOICE!!!!!!!

i don't. i just keep quite. No more. Slowly, but surely, i putting up a fight here.

I expect things. When i give, i expect something back. Something like value for money.Ok, i may not be giving what one wants, and i do not expect that back. But within the limits of what i have been doing, is it not fair on my part to expect decency? Responsible behavior? An understanding that one cannot fight this war alone? Support? And why am i being subtle with this? And is the world so self centered, it cannot grasp the hints i have been dropping all along??? Why should i suffer in silence, be angry at myself, be guilt ridden???? And why cannot i let go?? I should do that.

But i don't. I just let the minute pass, calm down, move on.

Saw “Karthik calling Karthik” yesterday. This post is an outcome of me wondering  what the other Rachit must be thinking. Not much,  guess. Nor am i two people in one, fortunately or otherwise.